I'm on a bus

So as I ponder the existance of
my life I catch the bus to me destination HELL I fucking hate school.


Now as my feelings develop and mature I realize what I really want apose to what I need.

Fuck on the bus home totaly fucking shit thanks. Mood kill.

Anyway its now friday and I have been with Sarah all day it was good in a way. Don't think we will hang out for while but I dunno. Got grounded for 2days LOL.

So it is about 2 weeks latter now LOL. But I went out today drank today(alot) but not enough to forget.
So I think I have done alot of stuff since me last post so the other week I stayed at me mates and we snuck out and went for a drink with a girl. We set a bin on fire, stole a case of beer walked the streets just a typical night ya know?

So I kinda don't know how I feel now like I have started to talk to this other girl again and like I dunno.
Things are getting better with Sarah well at least I think so it is so effin complicated ATM. So like I don't know weather she likes me or not or whats happening. But I would feel weird and bad if I didn't like her or just didn't have her their. Like I could get on with life like I dunno I just want her with me.
So yeah.

I have been thinking and alot of my choices and things have been doing have been snap desceions. Like it's just a I want it ill do it. Like it is a massive mind over matter like I pick what I want it's weird but it's just as I do. I'm the only one who understands it, but yeah.

So yeah I really wish I knew what to do about this whole Sarah and I thing. I wish I still had Tanya she was so awesome. We use to have to best talks.

Like I hate to say it but I really liked her like a fucking lot. She was just an awesome girl. Like she is the perfect girlfriend with a really shity boyfriend.(don't you hate that). So like we have this thing we are "sticker buddies" it may seem imature and all but I really like that thing that we had.
So we can't talk anymore because of her boyfreind he sees me as a threat to him and Tanya, even she said I was. So like she use to say she wish she could have both of us wich was pretty bad at that time for both me and her.

So I guess she is the girl I want but can't have. But. I reminess about it every now and then like when I see the txt she sent I get like really upset. I know but like she is an awesome friend.

Betta jet shhhhh.

:S hmmm

Any way I'm starting to feel better about every thing now.
Like I think it's getting better I don't know see Sarah seems happier but I dunno. Well I was reading my horoscope and in the love part it said not to talk at all because I might take things to serious so I'll just see how it goes and talk to her tomorrow. (so Sarah if you want to talk please txt me)
Like I don't want to not talk to her like I really like talking to her but yeah with all these fights and all it's starting to get weird and all like I can just like make things easier but Sarah still doesn't feel the same way I think.

Any way went to El's party on sat night it was pretty kool. Meet like this really pretty girl she was nice bit of a slut (apperntly) but yeah. So we get off in the harbour some were and my friend walks off to go meet some guy and decides he is gunna pop a pill then comes and asks me for more. But yeah on the train back the we got in that part between caeiges and partyed LOL then in the elevator. And this guy got a lap dance off these two girls and we made fun of him coz he had a bonner LOL.
Quick interuption some girl just got on the bus not mentioning any names but she look like a fucking rat like she didn't iron her shirt the shirt was dirty it was just fucking gross like she should take care of her self she is a girl.
Anyway I watched like all of sarahs YouTube videos last night I was so bored. Would have been fun to know her when she was younger she seemed more fun LOL. And ZOMG Elle has changed (for the worse) like so much.

Anyway gotta jet. So yeah Sarah sorry if I don't txt today you now know why.

Now WTF!

So I have a pretty good "day".

Shity night so after school Sarah was in a shity mood because she has a head ache which was fair enough. But then a fight was started over facebook between her and like one of my really good friends. But you want to hear the funny thing Sarah ignores me and has pretty much said I don't want to talk to you, and Shannen is their for me. Like Shannen is always their for me. She said she would drop it bit yeh.
Fuck and girls are always complaint about them getting their periods and shit but I don't think Sarah really realises how much she hurts me some times like every day. I put up with it because I love her. I still don't think she loves me back she it just always feels like she is trying to be distant or avoid me and alot of conversation.
But I found her word that really sets her off today. Like she went on one day and just kept calling me a bitch like I asked her to stop and she had a go at me.

Far out their kicking in now.
So I don't know if I should be writing this on here but like when ever I go through a shit time I hit the drugs pretty hard. Most of the time it is prescription. But like I rock up to school high sometimes.
Like I don't brag bout drugs like some little gronks do but I just like to get things out on here.

So thats it pretty much and in a week or two ill write up my sex story I wrote in my suspension in the kindy room LOL.